Seize the Day
by fly-honey-from-the-track-team
Summary: Jade dies.


**I don't own VICTORiOUS. I don't own Seize the Day.**

_Seize the day, or die regretting the time you lost_

_It's empty and cold without you here,_

_Too many people to ache over_

Fighting, screaming, jealousy. That's what described our relationship. I knew he was tired. Heck, I was tired too. But I couldn't help fighting. He never showed that he loved me, never gave me any sign. The only love he showed me was the label "Beck's girlfriend".

Nothing changed when Tori arrived. At least, not in our relationship. But that only fueled the fights. He showed more care and love to Tori, than he ever did me.

I loved him so much, I was weak to be without him. I couldn't find it in me to leave him. But, I could offer him an escape route. An escape route from the fighting, the screaming, the jealousy. An escape route from Beck&Jade.

"I'm gunna count to ten." I started.

"Don't forget three. Some people forget three." I rolled my eyes at Cat.

"If you're not out there, I'm going home, and we're over." I stormed out the door, slamming it behind me. "ONE!"

He didn't open the door. I waiting a few more seconds, hoping that he'd come and run into my arms.

But he didn't. I stormed off, refusing to cry.

_I see my vision burn,_

_I feel my memories fade with time_

_But I'm too young to worry_

_These streets we traveled on _

_Will undergo our same lost past_

I drove till Tori's house disappeared in my rear view mirror. Then, all the tears came cascading down my face. I turned my radio on. I hated the sound of my cry. I couldn't see, so I put my car in park.

I didn't know where I'd stop. I just wanted to cry and cry. I hugged the steering wheel, hoping for some kind of warmness, but there was none.

I was alone. Completely alone.

Wait, I'm not completely alone. I smiled ever so weakly, as I held my stomach in my hand.

Then, I saw huge white lights. I felt an agonizing pain. Suddenly, it was all over.

_I found you here,_

_Now please just stay for a while_

_I can move on with you around_

_I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?_

_I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done_

_We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you_

I sat playing poker. Trina's head was on me. I was too tired to push her off of me. All I could think of was Jade.

I didn't want to leave her, I was just too exhausted of fighting, of being stripped from my freedom.

Jade, I love you, but I couldn't deal with all the hostility anymore.

I remember when I first met Jade. It was sixth grade, when I first started HA. She was gorgeous. She mesmerized me. She was dark, yet glowing all the colors of the rainbow. She was pale, yet full of life. She was mean, yet radiating with emotion. She was Jadelyn August West.

I tried so hard to get her to be my girlfriend. I endured humiliation, harsh words, coffee being 'spilled' inside my locker, scissors mysteriously cutting off half my hair while I fell asleep in class. But after two years, it was worth it because Jade was my girlfriend. And after all that, I let her go so easily.

_I see my vision burn,_

_I feel my memories fade with time_

_But I'm too young to worry_

_(a melody, a memory, or just one picture)_

But I was tired of fighting. I was tired of games. I didn't even remember when it had gotten like this. Fighting and screaming.

I was just tired of it all.

_Seize the day, or die regretting the time you lost_

_It's empty and cold without you here,_

_Too many people to ache over_

My phone vibrated. I ignored it.

It vibrated again. I stood up and walked to the living room.

"What Jade? What?"

"Hello." it was a kids voice. "It's Riley. Jade's… brother." he began crying uncontrollably. "She's dead." and then hung up.

I stood there, shocked. Was it a joke? Jade couldn't be dead

I fell to my knees, everyone turned to look at me. I started shaking.

"Beck!" my friends ran to me.

"no no no No NOOO!" I cried. "Jade! Jade Jade Jade." I repeated her name.

Then Cat's and Andre's phone buzzed.

**From Jadey**

**This is Jade's father. It would mean a lot to me and my family if you would joins us at my daughter's funeral.**

It was tears everywhere.

_Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in_

_No longer needed here so where do we go?_

_Will you take a journey tonight,_

_Follow me past the walls of death?_

_But girl, what if there is no eternal life?_

Tori's dad drove me to the hospital. I wanted to see with my own eyes.

Jade wasn't dead. She probably just forced her father and brother to lie to us. To make me feel horrible. To make me realize how much I loved her.

"Beck." it was Jade's dad. He was cruel and judgmental, he might not approve of his daughter's acting career, but he did care about his daughter.

His fist met my jaw.

"You ungrateful little asshole! You're the reason my Jadelyn is dead! You're the reason I'll never see her again!" he was punching me hard. Tori's dad and other security officers held him back.

"It's ok, Mr. West."

"Don't tell me it's ok Vega. How would you feel if you're Tori was killed at the prime of her life!" he was enraged.

_I see my vision burn,_

_I feel my memories fade with time_

_But I'm too young to worry_

_(a melody, a memory, or just one picture)_

After calming down, Mr. West shook my hand but refused to apologize.

A nurse guided me to Jade's body. I fell on my knees, pulling my hear, and screaming.

"Jade! No!"

The nurse put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry for the loss of your two loves, son." she said.

"Two?"

"Oh… I'm sorry, sir. As the boyfriend, I thought you would have known." she stumbled with her words.

"Known what?"

"Ms. West, was two in a half months pregnant."

My world shattered.

_Seize the day, or die regretting the time you lost_

_It's empty and cold without you here_

_Too many people to ache over_

Mr. West had been right. I was the reason Jade was dead.

Riley had told me everything.

After storming out of Tori's house, Jade cried and the tears blinded her. Her car never had a chance against the force of the eighteen wheeler.

Jade… I'm so sorry, my love.

_Trials in life, question of us existing here,_

_Don't wanna die alone without you here,_

_Please tell me what we have is real_

Her funeral was two days later. Mr. West had never agreed with his daughter, but this funeral was just what Jade would have wanted. All the flowers were dyed black, red, and purple.

And, in the black casket, laid Jade. She looked like she was sleeping. Her hands where over her stomach and was holding a little ultrasound picture.

My baby.

I cried and cried.

As they lowered her and my baby into the hole, it took Andre, Mr. West, Mr. Vega and my own father to stop me from jumping in after them

"NOOOOO!"

_So, what if I never hold you?_

_Or kiss your lips again?_

_Whoah, so I never want to leave you,_

_And the memories of us to see_

_I beg don't leave me_

I laid in my bed for the next few weeks. Mr. West and I had a civilized talk about Jade.

He told me that when Jade found out she was pregnant, she wanted to tell me right away. But he stopped her. He'd heard her cries every night, and he hadn't thought I was the best man for his daughter.

He was right. I was the worst possible man to be with Jade. I was the reason her and my baby where gone.

_Seize the day, or die regretting the time you lost _

_It's empty and cold without you here,_

_Too many people to ache over_

Jade never wanted much from me. All she wanted was for me to show her that I loved her, that she was the only girl for me. But I couldn't give her that.

I was a horrible human being. I'm the one who should be dead. Not Jade and especially not my baby.

I went through all the pictures of us. From the first day of our relationship, to the very last.

And every time, I cried. I had nothing else to do. Loneliness, emptiness. That's all I had know.

I never should have fought with Jade.

_Trials in life, questions of us existing here_

_Don't wanna die alone without youer here_

_Please tell me what you have is real_

Nothing matters anymore. I got to school, but not even acting can drown my pain. I miss you Jade. I miss the baby that we would have had.

A little piece of her and I.

But know it's all gone.

_Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day_

_Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day_

_Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day_

After ten years, I'm still alone. I never got over the hole in my heart that Jade and my unborn child left.

I should have treasured Jade. I should have loved her the way she deserved. I should have seized the days I spent with her.

_I'm stuck here alone_

_Falling away from me, no chance to get back home_

_I'm stuck here alone_

_Falling away from me, no chance to get back home_

_I'm stuck here alone_

_Falling away from me, no chance to get back home_


End file.
